45 posts categorized "Fish Humor"

October 20, 2008

Cubicle Fishing

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October 01, 2008

Do you know why they call it "fishing"???

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Because "F*CK" was already taken.

The Nemesing One takes one for the team.

Fishing. I loath fishing, but my kids love it. So I go. I've logged more hours fishing in this summer than the rest of my life combined. I hate it. First you buy all the stuff, poles, reels, lines, hooks, spinners, sinkers, bobbers, a knife, needle-nose pliers, a chain to hold all your fish, and a tackle box to put it all in. Boom, I'm out $100 and that's at Walmart for 3rd-rate sh*t.

Via: I'm Sure I Don't Know LINK

March 28, 2008

Hot Fishing Action

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February 22, 2008

Unfortunate Ad Placement

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Via: Say No to Crack

November 27, 2007

Chumugly

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As an adjective:

Alcohol couldn't take it away, she/he was four-beer chumugly

Penelope Cruz is not Chumugly

As a synonym: Chihuly and his glass art might be described as....

Via: Wadin' Boot @ Washington Fly Fishing  LINK

September 12, 2007

Catching Trout Has Never Been So Easy

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Via: Troutball

August 30, 2007

The Solution to Fishile Dysfunction

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July 27, 2007

Coming to a theater near you

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July 02, 2007

Let's check Google News and see what people are hooked on

You
Fishing
Nintendo Wii
Meth
Tales of characters inspired by ancient Indian mythology
Clothes
Age-Defying Israeli skincare product (Madonna)
Ballooning
Drugs
Meme-ing
Social networking
Sci Fi's Syndicated Star Trek
Transformers
Musky Fest
Newest state park
Heroin
Blogging
Horses
Ice cappuccinos
Cash
Tennis
Botox
Banjo fishing lure
Solitude in cars
Cycling
Science
Bee keeping
Soccer
Facebook

Nobody appears to be hooked on phonics.  Via J-Walk Blog

June 21, 2007

If You Like Salmon Coladas....

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#7 on the list of the 10 worst drink concepts of all time.

3 ounces light rum
2 cups crushed ice
3 tablespoons pineapple juice
3 tablespoons coconut milk
1 ounce fresh Atlantic salmon
Salmon head (for garnish)

Blend all ingredients and garnish with a salmon head.

If anyone at the party starts talking about the importance of omega-3 fatty acids, merely gesture at your drink and say, “Eh? Eh? That enough for ya? Later in the evening, give your salmon head a name and have it deliver monologues on the commercialization of independent cinema or why the French Laundry is past its prime.  VIA Chow  LINK

June 15, 2007

Shiny, Wriggling Object Attracting Interest Among Fish Community

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The appearance of a shiny, bobbling object in the water of the Brule, just upstream of the big sunken oak stump, is generating considerable interest among members of the fish community, river sources reported Monday.

Via: The Onion LINK

May 23, 2007

“Do these waders make my butt look big?”

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If women planned fishing trips.  Via Davezilla  LINK

May 18, 2007

Defiant Trout Refuses Federal Protection

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Doyle Redland reporting.  LINK

May 15, 2007

Ask A Salmon!

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Via: The Onion  LINK


April 30, 2007

The Infamous Pike Place Monkfish

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Some local Chum flavor from Seattle's Pike Place Market. Via: The Seattle PI LINK

April 20, 2007

Sex Toy or Fishing Lure?

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  Test your knowledge! LINK

April 19, 2007

Fishing for Fellatio

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Dear Bass Pro Shops:

I received your latest letter with great enthusiasm. Lord knows how I ever got on your mailing list, but I'm so glad I did. I get your catalogs once or twice a month, mixed in with a letter here and there. Now you're offering me a Bass Pro Shops credit card. This really makes me wonder about your research department.

Via: Secondhand Tryptophan LINK

April 17, 2007

Lake fish killed by amorous toads

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In one incident around 70 carp, worth about £3,000, were lost after male toads tried to mate with them on the Wykeham Estate. Via: Scarborough Today News  LINK

April 10, 2007

Bull? Shit!

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March 03, 2007

Finding Sushi

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VIA: Mental Floss  LINK

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March 02, 2007

Research Grant Blown Wooing Cute Research Assistant

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"I thought that grant would last Jim [Neuthom] at least two years, but I simply didn't realize how many hot-air balloon rides, CDs, and spontaneous dinners at tiny French restaurants are required for an in-depth trout study," said UM professor of agriculture Steven Czymedia, who claimed he was "fascinated" by Neuthom's new theory that fine champagne might be directly related to rainbow trout migratory routes.  VIA The Onion LINK

February 23, 2007

Fishing in the Alternate Universe

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February 22, 2007

Timmy had a great day of fishing at Three Mile Island

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January 31, 2007

Chum Toonage!

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VIA Gone Fishing  LINK

January 30, 2007

Fish Arse

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November 29, 2006

The Bear Necessities

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October 26, 2006

A Salmon Guide to Catch That Fly Fishing Hottie

Ladies, it's spawning season again - for our andromous friends. Yes, the salmon and steelhead have eaten all summer, I know, I know, while we've all been starving ourselves to paint on bikinis, to make their final labors of love on inland rivers. It's constant sex, pregnancy, then death - doesn't it just feel that way for all of us?  VIA Happy Woman Magazine LINK

October 16, 2006

Blazing Bellyboats and Other Outdoor MIS-Adventures

In a style reminiscent of humorist Patrick F. McManus, Cliff Ruminer endures the life of “The world’s second-unluckiest angler.” From the title story to classics like “Never Trust a Naked Angler,” the reader will howl with laughter at Cliff’s plight, as he ducks and dodges his way through the fallout of his aborted attempts to enjoy his favorite outdoor pastime. VIA Amazon LINK

Other books by this author? There's a Naked Fisherman in my Tutu.

My Name is Pat and I am a Fishaholic

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I think I have always had a fishing problem. Fishing is a disease. The more you fish the more you have to fish until the only way you can fish as much as you have to is to be a millionaire or a fishing guide. I am a fishing guide.

Pat is also a writer, poet, landscape artist and fish psychologist.  LINK

September 20, 2006

Pro Bass Fisherman Explains Life To Son Through Complicated Bass-Fishing Metaphors

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In his efforts to teach his son important life lessons, tournament bass fisherman Kyle Traverts usually reverts to complex bass-fishing metaphors, sources close to the family reported Tuesday.  VIA The Onion  LINK

September 15, 2006

Fisherman's 4-Year-Old Son Liberates Bait

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Doyle Redland reporting.  LINK

September 06, 2006

Catch and release' border policy ends

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Anglers now allowed to retain one Mexican over 18 inches.  LINK

April 27, 2006

The Singing Dumb Ass Bass

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VIA My Fishy Site  LINK
 

March 29, 2006

Horton's Hats

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Just one more to go!

March 28, 2006

Whippersnapper Gas Powered Tarpon Fly

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You know the drill!

More Wayne McLoughlin goodness.

March 27, 2006

The Waders with the Lead Boots

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Part three of our series of Wayne McLoughlin posts.


March 23, 2006

Kahonee's Bros. Air Service

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The second in our vacation series of posts featuring the art of Wayne McLoughlin.

March 22, 2006

Fishing Humor from Wayne McLoughlin

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The first in a series of posts featuring the art of Wayne McLoughlin.

February 10, 2006

Poachers Steal Lake

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Did you hear the one about the two Polish fisherman who stole a lake?  LINK

February 03, 2006

Stream State University

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Affixed to the diploma is an embossed gold foil seal of "Graduate". Each diploma can be personally customized for you with a name and graduation date of your choosingLINK

December 20, 2005

Reel Bad Holiday Gift Guide

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Don't you wish sometimes when you're sitting on the john that you were sailing the seas, casting a line for a 10 foot swordfish, smelling the salty air of the sea, maybe taking down a couple of cold ones??  LINK

Don't you wish sometimes when you're on the couch, flipping through the channels, that you were flipping a surface plug for Billy Bass??  LINK

Don't you wish sometimes when you're on the practice green that golf was as easy as fishing with bait?  LINK

March 08, 2005

The Joys of Ice Fishing

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March 03, 2005

Quotes from the World of Fishing

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Today she met me at the door, said I would have to choose, if I picked that fishing pole today, she'd be packing all her things and she'd be gone by noon....well I'm gonna miss her when I get home tonight. Right now I'm on this lake shore, and I'm sitting in the sun! I'm sure it'll hit me when I walk thru that door tonight. Yeah, I'm gonna miss her. Oh lookie there, I gotta bite!" - Brad Paisley

LINK

"Bass fishermen watch Monday night football, drink beer, drive pickup trucks and prefer noisy women with big breasts.
Trout fishermen watch MacNeil-Lehrer, drink white wine, drive foreign cars with passenger-side air bags and hardly think about women at all.
This last characteristic may have something to do with the fact that trout fishermen spend most of the time immersed up to the thighs in ice-cold water." - New Yorker Magazine

LINK

 

February 28, 2005

Turning Fish Into Wine

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Anyone for a 1998 Chateau Le Carp?

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Dog Fishing Reel

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If you ask us, fishing is a pain in the bass. You need a boat, you need bait, and you need expensive equipment. Oh, and you need more patience than god.  And more often than not, all you have to show for your efforts is a sunburn and a beer belly. This product GUARANTEES a successful fishing outing. In fact, we're sure you'll catch a whopper on your very first cast. All you have to do is fish for your dog.

LINK

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